Monday, June 27, 2011

Terror-Artists (written Sept. 2003)

America is getting scared
It's all over the television
9/11 or nine-one-one
So call the police divisions
Anthrax being fed-ex'd with care
Anonymously, over-ominously
We hear the fear and stare
Into the T.V.
Because there's terrorists out there!
Yeah!
The biggest threat to America
Is a country 3000 miles away
Quick! Bin Laden and Saddam
Must go today
They're terrorists!
Terror-Artists
I've experienced a terrorist act before
So I understand the severity
Of punishing these individuals
To the fullest extent of legalities
You see,
Mine started with living in poverty
And having roaches in the house
My mom working twelve hours a day
Just to keep food in our mouths
Then trying to survive
In a family of five
On welfare and disability funds
Plus what food stamps provide
Shit, that was terror.
Growing up sometimes wondering
Where food was coming from
Why mama cry so much
And why my brother needs a gun
Terror.
Going to a school
Where teachers could care less
About my writing skills
Being on free lunch
With a closet of clothes from Goodwill
As a child that worries
On the money problems
But tries to balance it
With selling dope "options"
Terror-ble
If you are confused
Ask a South Dallas child
Who's mother the night before
Told him,
"Don't worry, God is sending help through the door"
What he feels
It may be close to terror
Maybe terror-ble
Terror-Artists
That design carnage
To masterfully unfold
And also pull "kick doors" on countries
For some damn oil
Well hey, I can't be too mad
For the committing a crime
I need to chill, right?
Cause gas is down to $1.89
And shit,
It only cost a lot lives...
Am I capitalist, Marxist, anarchist?
Naw, I'm a Terror-Artist
You see
It's frightening
How many people I inspire with this pen
When I'm writing
It seems that I bend
All traditional methodical movements on paper
So I may transform
This sheet into a gun
This pen as a clip that stays warm
With the alphabetical bullets
That consistently spray in syncopated rhythm
Into the bodies of the victims
That begin twitching
As they collapse on the ground, decease,
And melt
Only to be revived and rejuvenated
As Terror-Artists themselves!
But we need more
God bless America
Shit, I'm trippin'
I'll be on the news one day
"Black male shot by police
Thinking he had a gun"
So why should I play
With the power
Of terror
Though it's real power comes from the weaknesses present
Inside the person you see in the mirror
That's real terror.

Think about this...

"Truth is that which does not contaminate you, but empowers you. Therefore, there are degrees of truth, but, generically, truth is that which can do no harm. It cannot harm." -Gary Zukav from The Seat of The Soul

I have given truth a lot of thought lately... I have asked questions about what I "know" to be true ranging from the simple, physical nature, to the more ethereal and abstract. What I ascertained from this almost Socratic method of questioning is that there is very little that I know to be true. Even more, there is little I know to be true of this physical world and how it relates to the spirit.

Without sounding like a hippie, I know that energy is ever-present: in people, in our mentalities, in our personalities, in our spirits, in our surroundings, in our choices, etc. To view this abounding energy as a singular current would be foolish; it has too many sources and tangents, none relative to another. But energies can coincide in an environment that dictate our performance or chart our life's course for a time. In essence, we would have to be omnipresent in terms of thinking to have a chance at truly seeing our environment or have a shot at galvanizing that energy around us.

Let's say that we accomplish that task and gain a wider range of "sight." Would we now be able to see truth in more areas? I think so. But why is it important? I believe that truth gives us a foundation upon which we can build. Look at an argument for example: one side BELIEVES they are right and the other side is on the defensive. Who is stronger? Obviously the person with the belief. Belief gives you strength and an authority to fight for what you believe, as it also provides a defense. A truth that is believed is a weapon, fortress, sustenance, and an important building block of a characteristic. The more truths we accumulate, the more defined (and refined) our characteristics become, thus making a stronger person.

So I decided to take one truth at a time. I know that God is real and true. We were made (humans, that is) by a higher power. We have choices is another truth. We individually define good and evil based on our influences, experiences, and perceptions. Those are a few truths that I accept, believe, become empowered by, and most importantly, understand. Without foundational knowledge such as that, I would not have created a regulatory system of ethics, nature, and practice that I abide by. Without those few truths, I would live as a man without a Creator, virtually above the law. Those truths do not bind me, however. They enable me think above my physical self.

When we look at our interactions with one another, are we making a habit of going to the truth? Or do we react superficially to situations and err on the side of "ignorance?" I have been guilty of that myself. But in situations where I took in account what I know to be true of the person or situation, the results were favorable. Kinda like "thinking before you speak," if you will.

One truth I understand is that the slaves were never freed. We are still in bondage and it is more devastating this way. I also know that a people cannot oppress another without harming themselves. We'll talk more on that truth later...

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Untitled (6-22-11)

Gotta think up better shit
Staying competitive
Never repetitive
Better than I've ever spit
You're hearing a veteran
That's never been
And Heaven sent
And hella sick
Ask his relatives!
Poetic and relevant
Combative intelligence
Nomadic and prevalent
So cold,
"So-so" sociopathic
The Socratic method is
Look at the evidence:
Radical methods
Are used as leverage
For his grammatical preference
Pressing the essence
Supressing the malevolent
Praying for the progression
Of developing a lesson
We staying in
Congression
Through the computers
We commute to regression
Induce depression
Reduced to Facebook groups
To suit convalescence
But we regroup!
Duped, by the salute
Of a flag that would choose
To move police troops
On a search and shoot
Mission
For Black me and you
Attack me, and
You'll relax see
The fact is
You're intact
With the latch-and-key-
Philosophy-
Turned-prophecy
Of methodically
And logically
Killing Blacks
What I'm feeling
In fact
Is the killing
Was half
The thrill and
It's matched
By the feel
Of the wheeling
And dealing
And BEWILDERIN' Blacks
That,
"Lord, forgive 'em, they Black"
Lord, forgive my relapse
Lord, forgive me, I'm back.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Too Many Drugs...

I wrote this piece in 1998 at 16


Too many drugs to alter my mental state
With my mind's eye closed and oblivious to the outside
World,
Then I am safe from seeing the hate
What I wouldn't give to be blind;
We were far too young to see this
Beautiful, timid, innocent youth
Lacking pretension, harsh judgement, contradiction,
And for which, we did not care
We conformed to the brutal realities of societal
Aggression
And in time, learned to embrace a household nightmare
Where boys of men fear to tread,
Where no sane individual in their right mind would be
Caught dead...
When nightfall revolved, that is where we laid our heads
In the land where beauty and grace operate
At a mechanical disadvantage
Is where we met our friends
The demons spawned from their special place in our subconscious
Hell;
Counterparts until our bitter ends
Any drug(s) on the market to evaporate this feeling,
The dread of simply going to bed
The quiet storm's tumultuous finale,
Leaving in it's wake, irrevocably tattered tapestries of
humanity in our heads
Still, we rose to the lunacies of another day,
To perform with those on their way to Heaven, Hell,
or simply passing by
We captivated audiences with our wit, cynicism, and passion,
While along every unbiased thought,
We wished they would die
But that can't keep us down, for we are Concrete Children,
Born of a desensitized generation of advancement;
burning up in speed
High on all the drugs of life: marijuana, heroine, cocaine,
ecstacy, politics, business, education, and "success"
Addicted to their performance in us, society's need.

Lately...

Lately, I have been doing a lot of compare-and-contrast with my work. I think every lyricist believes his each and every word is gold, but I have not been that disillusioned. I know that as everything progresses, so does talent, maturity, and perspective. I will be posting a few pieces from then and now. Please feel free to comment and let me know what you think about Psyentific at age 16 and Mr Jones at 29.

Back In The Day...

Back in the day, it was pretty easy to call it. Your "friends" were unequivocably your friends. Your pleasures were selfish, but that was socially acceptable. Your needs were met without the efforts of your hands. It was pretty good, right? But then you grew up. You began to notice that your friends are more than friends. Your selfish pleasures were reduced (if you really grew up) and the need to provide for others became paramount. Your needs are now met through toil and in some cases, even fall short. Life has become what it has become.

What made back in the day different, though? Other than the age difference and home-life, what really had to change? Surely maturity, society, and expectations will always dictate our direction (to a degree) but other than the obvious, what changed with us? Did we become calloused? Did happiness become an expendable option? I think it's deeper.

Back in the day, I was not afraid... of anything. I wasn't reckless, but I wasn't over-cautious either. I approached life with the vitality of youth and the creativity of years before my time. A slight oxymoron, I'm sure, but valid nonetheless. A friend asked me years ago a simple question that I struggled to answer. He asked "what would you do if you were not afraid?" Wow. So simple, yet so infused with the vague and ambiguous nature of a Jesus parable.

I gave this much thought. This friend was my best friend through the majority of my childhood, so I didn't want to give him a "blow off" answer. I must admit that it was difficult to even begin to gauge the response I should render. At first, I looked a "surface" response. One that would be relative to making more money or accomplishing a short-term task. I knew better, though. Next, I began to ask myself other questions. Such as: what would I change in the world? Or, if I could have any power, what would it be? So on and so forth...

After a few days, I answered that friend. I told him I would wake them all up at once and have a resource to keep them up. Now he began to pause... The "them" I referenced were my people, of course. The "waking up" is in direct reference to our state of mind as a people. After some time, we began to talk with the unspoken understanding of why I answered that way.

When I think on that time and being a child, I can say with confidence that fear is the only thing that changed any of us. We now have FEAR. Fear of losing a job, loved one, or possession. Fear of being accepted. Fear of being understood. Fear of being afraid! We have enough fears to satisfy Satan's fetish for at least several lifetimes!

I want to bring "back in the day" to today. My strongest moments and greatest accomplishments all stem from not giving a fuck. I would be so worn out by this or that until I reached a point of not giving a fuck. That emotion (or characteristic) would always propel into a direction that God intended anyway. I would have even been there sooner had I not been a scared pussy at first.

My challenge dear readers, is not to wait for us all to get close to our breaking points, but rather to break the points of complacency NOW! Fuck fear. As a Black man, I fully understand that I am godbody. I am crafted in God's image. I am the first man. I am bigger than this world. I am making my today better than back in the day...

Number One

I appreciate you taking the time to indulge this blog. The thoughts, work, and ideals expressed here are done by one person who is controlled by no one. Brace yourselves, it gets rough.